sadstuck: when she cries (depressed reader x kankri)
by rose-yao
Summary: when hears things that may or may not be true from meehna she starts to feel lonely and soon becomes depressed and wont do anything not even eat. karkat and kankri become increasingly worried about the girl. soon kankri starts to fall in love with the girl he's been friends with for a long time. what will he do to protect her? will he tell her about his feelings?
1. memories

((a/n:: ok so this is my first homestuck fanfiction please dont kill me. I know that some of the characters are a bit ooc so im sorry. Anyways here it is. There will be foul language, disruptive parts, and some bloody and gruesome moment as well. Keep in mind that this is a sadstuck fanfiction. Please comment and heart. I also don't own homestuck or anything on this but the plot. All credit for homestuck goes to Andrew Hussie.))

~dream starts~

I was running around with karkat in his back yard when I saw him. I stopped and smiled at a boy that looks like an older version of karkat but he was wearing a candy red sweater. This was the first time I have ever seen him. It was then that karkat pulled me behind a tree.

"Who was that kitty?" I asked sweetly and innocent. This made him groan out of annoyance at the nickname I had given him when we first met. Of course the fact that he hates the nickname is why I keep calling him by it.

"That's kankri, my older brother fuckass. AND STOP CALLING ME KITTY!" He said, the last part louder than he intended which drew the attention of his brother. I heard him walk over here and stop in back of karkat.

"Karkat please refrain from yelling, especially at a young girl like your friend here. It could be highly triggering to others who might hear you. You should really think about things like this." I heard him say with a sigh. I found the sound of his voice so calming and sweet. It made me smile and giggle a bit.

Karkat simply groaned in annoyance then grabbed my arm and dragged me inside mumbleing something extremely stupid. I now know that karkat and kankri never get along. Soon after entering the house we ran into the signless who was in the kitchen.

"Oh karkat… who is this young lady?" I heard him ask in a kind voice that made me giggle. "I'm _. It's nice to meet you." I said sweetly. This seemed to shock the signless but at the same time made him smile. Karkat simply grumbled again then dragged me away from the kitchen to the living room. "What movie so you want to watch fuckass?" karkat asked with his usual bitter attitude. Of course this always got on my nerves but hey if I can stand Dave and dirk then I can stand this.

"You choose kitty." I said simply making sure that I didn't show any signs of being uncomterable.

~end dream~

I woke up a bit startled that I had a dream about my past here on skaia.


	2. the party

(( a/n:: the picture is what you will look like without the glasses. Hehe.))  
I sat there in my bed and thought of everything that had happened since then and sighed. I decided to get out of bed and get ready for the day.

Just then I heard a knock at my door. I quickly finished getting dressed and put my shades on before answering the door. When I opened the door I was shocked to see kurloz standing there.

*_, Meulin asked me to come pick you up.* he signed before turning and walking down the hall. I stood there shocked before quickly following after him. ~time skip by the strider family~ We arrived at Meulin's hive and I ended up getting glomped by non-other than Meulin herself. I fell backwards at the unexpected impact. It was then that meulin got off me.

"you made it! Purfect!" She exvlamed cheerfully. I was now thurally confused then I remembered that I had promised to play at her party today. I smiled and then asked her if she still had my guitar. She simply nodded and pulled me into another room, where she handed me my guitar. I smiled then she left to inform everyone that I was gonna be playing a few songs. I smiled and walked out of the room where she pulled me to a makeshift stage in her back yard. I took a deep breath abd started to strum a tune on my guitar, then I started to sing.  
" Boys call you sexy, And you don't care what they say. See, everytime you turn around They're screaming your name. Now I've got a confession, when I was young I wanted attention, and I ptomised myself that I'd do anything, anything for them to notice me. But I aint complaining, we all want to be famous, so go ahead and say what you want to say, you dont know what its like to be nameless, want then to know what your name is, 'cause see when I was younger I would say. When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies. When I grow up, I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have groupies. When I grow up, be on TV, people know me, be on magazines. When I grow up, fresh and clean, number one girl when I step out on the scene. Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it., you just might get it, you just might get it. Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it, You just might get it, you just might get it. They used to call me silly, until I popped up on the TV, I always wanted to be a superstar, who knew that singing songs would get me this far. But I aint complaining, we all want to be famous, so go ahead and say what you want to say, you dont know what its like to be nameless, want then to know what your name is, 'cause see when I was younger I would say. When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies. When I grow up, I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have groupies. When I grow up, be on TV, people know me, be on magazines. When I grow up, fresh and clean, number one girl when I step out on the scene. Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it., you just might get it, you just might get it. Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it, You just might get it, you just might get it. I see them staring at me, oh im a trandsetter, yes this is true 'cause what I do, no one can do it better. You can talk about me, 'cause I'm a hot topic. I see you watching me, watching me and I know you want it. When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies. When I grow up, I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have groupies. When I grow up, be on TV, people know me, be on magazines. When I grow up, fresh and clean, number one girl when I step out on the scene. Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it., you just might get it, you just might get it. Be careful what you wish for 'cause you just might get it, You just might get it, you just might get it." I sang into the mic. I had just finished when I saw kankri walk into the back yard. I smiled brightly and continued to play song after song.


	3. the pain starts

(kankri's pov)  
I just walked into meulin's back yard after she dragged me here. I sighed and looked around silently. It was then that I saw _ up on stage singing with the upmost confidence. It made me smile to hear her voice for the first time in a while.

I hadn't seen her in about three weeks and I was quite happy to see her and with a smile as well. She then started a new song and it was amazing.

" Now's the time, get in line, don't be afraid tonight We're gonna take you high, before you realize 'Round and 'round you'll go, up and down, never slow Feel the excitement grow, oh This is where you let go

Hands high like a roller coaster This love is taking over Take us higher here we go Oh, oh, oh Welcome to the show Gravity we're defying 'Cause we were madefor flying We're about to lose control Welcome to the show

Oh, oh, we're on a mission nothing, nothing, can stand in our way Oh, oh, we don't need permission We're gonna rise up and we'll be the change Oh, oh, hear us on your stereo Oh, oh, we're about to lose control Oh, oh, everybody knows Oh, oh, this is where you let go

Hands high like a roller coaster This love is taking over Take us higher here we go Oh, oh, oh Welcome to the show Gravity we're defying 'Cause we were made for flying We're about to lose control Welcome to the show

And put your hands u-u-up We're gonna have some f-u-u-n We've only just beg-u-u-n And it's too late to r-u-un, you can't run So put 'em u-u-up We're gonna have some f-u-u-n Turn u the bass let it b-u-u-mp We've only just begun, and you can't run

Hands high like a roller coaster This love is taking over Take us higher here we go Oh, oh, oh Welcome to the show Gravity we're defying 'Cause we were made for flying We're about to lose control Welcome to the show(2x)

We're gonna have some f-u-u-n Turn u the bass let it b-u-u-mp We've only just begun, and you can't run(2x)" she sang so beautifully it made me smile a bit. It wasn't everyday you hear a voice like _'s. She is one of my best friends and I wouldn't trade her friendship for anything.

(readers pov)  
I just finished my last song and got off the stage. I saw meulin put on a stereo to keep the music going. I smiled at her then walked inside to put my guitar in a safe place when I saw meenah walk over to me.

")(EY _ W)(Y ARE )(ERE? NO ONE EVFIN LIKES YOU." She said smogly. I looked at her confused. "what do you mean by that meenah?" I asked her clearly confused. She sighed but then proceded to tell me everything that she soposedly heard from everyone else.  
~la timeskip by the amazing kankri~  
I ran out of meulin's hive as soon as meenah finished telling me everything. I ran all the way back to my hive in tears. I don't know how anyone could ever think those things about me. As soon as I got home I ran straight to my room. I locked the door and refused to open it.

~another timeskip. Why? You ask, easy because I fucking can. Deal with it.~  
(karkat's pov)  
It's been nearly two months since I last sent a message to _ and she still hasn't replied. I decided to try to message her again.  
CarcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling (cumhandle) [ch] at 13:34.

CG: HEY _ ANSWER ME FUCKASS!  
CG: I'M FUCKING SERIOUS!  
CH: ...  
CG: WHAT THE HELL _, YOU HAVEN'T TALKED TO ANYONE FOR NEARLY TWO MONTHS!  
CG:WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?!  
CH: ...why...do you...care?  
CG:BECAUSE YOUR MY FUCKING FRIEND.  
CG:STOP ACTING STUPID AND GET OVER HERE.  
CH:...No...  
CG: WHY THE FUCK NOT?  
CG: HELLO?  
CG: FUCK THIS IM GOING TO YOUR PLACE AND I'M BRINGING KANKRI.  
CarcinoGeneticist [CG] stopped trolling (chumhandle) [CH] at 14:03

I went to my brothers room and opened the door walking in. it was quite easy to find him, seeing as he was working at his desk. I quickly walked over to him.

Kankri looked up at me then opened him mouth to talk. "we don't have time, we have to fucking go over to _'s hive. I think there is something wrong with her." I snapped before he could say a word.


	4. kankri's flush crush

((a/n: OK so this is the fourth chapter! Yay I managed to get here! OK so so I know that the characters are a bit ooc but you got to remember that this is a sadstuck story. I also know that I've added a lot of songs already but that's because I think that it will add to the overall out come of this story. Also if I don't update in a while then its because of ether lazyness, homework, I'm hanging out with friends, or I'm in the middle of moving... Again. Also we are getting close to the grafic and bloody scenes in the story. I'm sorry if it sucks but I'm trying my best not to mess up the story. Enjoy.))

(Kankri's POV)

I walked with karkat over to _'s hive to check up on her. I was worried about her. 'What if she's badly hurt? What's wr9ng with her? Is she upset at s9mething 9r s9me9ne? Why d9es karkat care s9 much ab9ut this? why am I asking all these questions?' I thought to myself hopping that _ was alright. I hadn't seen or even heard from her since the party at meulin's hive. Actually now that I think about it she left early and from what I could tell she had been crying.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't realize that we arrived at _'s hive tell karkat pulled me out of them. When we knocked the door was opened by Utodit Ivilth. It wasn't that surprising seeing as they're morails and all.

"0h 1 w4sn't expect1ng 4ny0ne 0ver t0d4y. Y0u must be here t0 t4lk t0 _. She's 1n her r00m, d0wn the h4ll 4nd t0 the r1ght." Utodit said in her usual sweet voice. I nodded and saw karkat nod as well.

We walked down the Hall to _'s room and knocked on her door. I was able to hear faint sobs. Now I was definitely worried about her.

" who... Is it...?" I heard around slight sobs. I knew it was _ but her voice sounded so weak and fragile. It hurt to hear her so upset and in pain. I just couldn't understand why she was upset.

"_, it's kankri. Karkat is here t99. Can y9u please let us in, we want to help y9u, n9t hut y9u." I said calmly seeing as karkat was at lose of words from the sound of her cries.

I heard some rustling in the room before the door opened to a very sad looking _. She rubbed her eye's trying to stop crying but failing. She looked at us then moved aside to let us in.

I walked in with karkat slowly following behind me. I looked around and saw some pictures of me and her together that meulin and my dad had taken. The same exact pictures that I have in my room. I also noticed that they where the only pictures that where still up.

"I'm... Sorry my room...is a mess." She said sniffling and looking at the ground. My chest hurt at the sight of _'s sad face. 'Why is she s9 upset? Did s9mething happen t9 her?' I thought to myself as I looked at her sad feathers.

"It's alright. Y9u didn't expect us 9ver t9day." I said simply smiling hopping to cheer her up a bit. It slightly worked but it was clear that she was still sadned over something.

Karkat looked at _ for a moment then sighed. "_, why aren't you happy? And don't give me that 'why do you care' bullshit." He said after taking a deep breath. Of course this wasn't to shocking seeing as the two had a completed relationship. This sorta thing always happens when something is on _'s mind. The two acted as if they where matespirits but I knew they weren't. 'I mean really if they were _ w9uld tell me ... W9uldn't she?' I thought to herself.

_ sighed but didn't answer, she simply just walks over t her wall and continued to draw some weird creachers. ((A/n: if you know the native American legends then you know what she's drawing.) As I watched _ walk around her room the more I realized how much I care about her. Karkat of course noticed this but chose not to say a word.

The one thought that store out above all was, 'am I flushed for _?'

((A/n: sorry that it's so short I but Ireally needed to get this chapter up. Also I have been debating on weather or not to stop the story. I have noticed that I have a large number of reads by just over 140 readers. I also only have 22 3's and 8 comments. So i really need your guys's help here. If you want the story to go on please comment here or on my profile that you want it to continue. Thank you to all of you who are reading this and commenting. Also jut out of ceriousity I would like to know why so many of you like this story it would really help out in my final call on this.))


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